Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Looking Forward!

Philippians 3:12-16
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained.

As I face a new year, and a new beginning, this is a passage of scripture that resounds with me. I don't have any new New Years' resolutions, I am just renewing my strength and readjusting my perspective in order for God to complete a work in me that He's not yet finished with. This last April, I ended up in the hospital for two weeks with an asthma flare up. I was two months away from giving birth to my second child, and even though I had the same (asthma) problem in my first pregnancy, I was experiencing other complications as well, due to stress. My ob and pulmanologist decided that they didn't want me to go back to work for the remainder of my pregnancy. The Lord started dealing with me about simplifying things. I needed to remove the stress and a lot of chaos that was cluttering up my life. I knew this was true both physically and emotionally. I was in desperate need of His healing and sustaining peace. Wanting to do it all, I took on too much. Unable or unwilling to say no, I let my pride rule me, and push my capabilities to their very limits. -Here is where the self analyzing gets deep... I never back down from a challenge, never- to a fault. I'm loyal, efficient, and good at what I do and I know it. The problem is I want everyone else to know it as well. (pride, pride, pride, pride!) I don't just do my job. I go above and beyond, because I want you to need me. I want to make your job so much easier that you can't do with out me. I've prided myself on being educated and on being a hard worker, and I've used every advantage of it to get ahead. It's like I've had some thing to prove, although I don't know what. I've even noticed in the last couple years, with the farther north we've moved, I've had to drop a lot of my southern hospitality and niceties, in order to be taken seriously. And I've done it with regret, because I was not being true to myself. But I know how to play the game. And I've played in order to achieve, which in the end didn't satisfy me. It only left me wanting to achieve more. I've used achievements, accolades and praise to fill a lot of empty spaces in my life, where self doubt and insecurity has reigned. Pride is an ugly little addiction that is hard to shake. But God knows how to slow you down,or stop you in you tracks. With the Lord's help, I've been able to slowly make changes. I'm learning to rely more on him, and take the focus off of self, self, self. It's amazing how the Lord uses events or people in your life to push you in the right direction or let you know you're still on the right path. As I've traveled through bloggy land lately, I've found that while the Lord is revealing himself to many of you, He has a word for me also. From Maria @ Free to Fly- "Restoration and Homecoming," Melissa @ Breath of Life- "Peace and Simplicity," Rachel Anne @ Home Sanctuary- "Making your homes a sanctuary of peace, order, and beauty," Emma @ Charming the Birds from the Trees- "A Commitment to Loveliness and Finishing School For Ladies," and Monica @ The Home Spun Heart- "Living Simply and with a Clean Heart." So, as I look forward into the new year, I am going to focus on...
1. My Health- (getting rid of all baby and excess weight, in order to get off all steroids and other meds for my asthma, which will help me give more of myself to my husband and my children, and will improve my over all quality of life.)
2.My Home- (cultivating deeper relationships with my husband and children, as well as, concentrating on keeping a beautiful home that is warm and inviting.)
3. And most importantly, My spiritual walk with the Lord!


Melissa @ Breath of Life said...

Wow! I could've written much of your post myself (pride, wanting to be needed, etc.) We have much in common, friend. Hopefully, we can encourage each other to overcome these shortcomings together.

Here's to a great 2008!

Anonymous said...

thanks for your honesty. you are such an inspiration to me girlfriend. you really have no idea how much i admire your strength, integrity, and your Christian walk. thank you. love you, sis.

Mary Clair Ford said...

I know you think there are all of the things that you should/could do better but allow me to say how much I look up to you, how much I admire you and how much I would like to be more like you. I am so completely proud of you and I will continue to lift you, Hugh, Trey and Anna Grace up in my prayers. You guys are so special to me and TONS of other people and I, along with anyone else who knows you, think you are doing a stand up, wonderful, amazing, lovely job at being a mommy of two really small children, a wife and most importantly and admirably a servant and light for the Lord.



Penless Thoughts said...

Wonderful, honest post, Tiffany. True of many of us!!! Confession is always good for the soul.

Christy said...

I can so relate to you and this post. Pride is such an ugly thing and I struggle with it as well. I want everyone to see me just like you described.

I really admire you for this open post.

freetofly said...

Oh, Tiff (is it Ok to call you that?) this is so powerful and true of us all. These struggles we all have to varying degrees. But, we don't always see it or want to deal with it, even if we do know it. I think women, really struggle with the need to please...I am with you, in that I want to submit to and cooperate with the Father in His work in me, to help me come up higher...It is my hope we will all encourage & learn from each other this year as we do that together, as women of God! I want the heritage I pass on to my family to be rich and full of liberty, and that is what I hear you saying! I want to check out these other blogs, they sound awesome! Just their titles are inspiring!

God bless you!