Friday, October 2, 2009

The Gentleness of my Savior

Oh, how sweet the Lord is. He is so gentle and merciful in our weakness and pain. It brings tears to my eyes just to type the precious moment He gave me last night. If you have lost someone in your life very dear to you, a loved one or family member, you know that there are times, some little something will spark a rush of memories to wash over you. I had such a moment last night. I was sitting here alone. The babies were asleep, and my honey was at work, and I was thinking about and missing my mom. It started out sweet and then all of a sudden, I was crying a flood of tears and I just couldn't stop them from coming. I lost my breath and I buried my head in my hands and just sobbed for a few minutes. It ached way down deep inside, I missed her so much. "It's not fair. It's not fair," is all I could think or feel for a few moments. "I just wish you were here. I need you."

Then I heard a little creek, and out came my sweet little girl from around the corner. As, she toddled in with her blankie, I could tell she was still half asleep. "Hold you, momma," and she crawled up into my arms, and laid her head on my shoulder. She snuggled in, and I quietly held her close and let the tears continue to fall.When she was ready, I carried her back to her bed and tucked her in. I leaned over and kissed her softly on her the side of her head and whispered, "I love you so much." Then she turned over and wrapped her arms around my neck. She gave me a little pat pat on my back and whispered, "I love you so much momma." And she kissed me goodnight. It was such a sweet and comforting moment. And the Lord knew it was exactly what I needed. Other people may just shrug it off as a coincidence, but, I know it was a "God" moment. A healing moment. I have always said that the Lord gave me my son to sustain me through the heart ache of losing my mom so unexpectedly. And He gave me my daughter, a year later on my mom's birthday, to help me heal. We mirror image so much of the closeness and the bond I had with my mom. And it helps me feel close to her, like she is still everyday a part of my life. Not just as a memory, but in a real tangible way.

Oh how sweet His love is for us. With all in the world that He has to take care of, He still has time to show us that He cares about the small things our hearts ponder over. He takes the time to say I see, I know, I do care and I love you. That is how sweet my savior is. That is the God I know and love. Do you know Him that way? Not just know about Him and who He is, but, know Him. Do you share things and moments like this with Him?

8 comments:

Susan said...

Oh Tiffany this brought tears to my eyes. First for your pain, but secondly because, as you've said, the great love He has for us. He is aware of us every moment and He cares. So do I.
Susan

Sandra said...

I too couldn't quit crying. I wish I could hug you.

You are such a strong young lady in your faith. You are going to be used by God in a mighty way that you haven't even expected.

There are no coincidences in God and your daughter being born on your Mother's birthday was such a gift from Him.

Sandra

Marsha said...

I've been reduced to tears. Your heartbreak, your daughter, her sweetness and the theme song to "Gone With the Wind" was just more than I could bear.

What a healing gift love is.

Sisterlisa said...

That is so sweet!

Karen said...

What a precious story and testament of our Saviour's love....

Saleslady371 said...

This is touching, I'm so glad you shared it and I wish you peace and comfort today.

Lisa Buffaloe said...

That is so precious, Tiffany. May God grant you continued comfort and peace.

demetria said...

oh sweetheart. . . i am so sorry for your tears, but so moved by your story about sweet anna grace. i love you so much and am so very proud of you. muah!